Top Ten Bathroom Hijinks

Now, I have not done all these things, but just the thought of doing them makes me laugh. I hope it has the same effect on you. A few ground rules first. Only do this to guys you're pretty sure you can either out-run or beat up. Also be aware that you might inadvertently get a gay lover out of some of these, so if that's not your bag (and it isn't TNO's bag) please be careful.Here's my Top Ten Public Bathroom Hijinks:Number 10: When there's only 1 guy standing at a urinal, go and stand at the urinal right next to him. This violates one of the most basic rules of men's room etiquette and will freak the hell out of him.Number 9: If he stays the course and doesn't immediately bail, then engage him in conversation. This is also a major rules violation and should make him extremely uncomfortable.Number 8: Let him "catch" you trying to sneak a peek at his jimmy.Number 7: If you are done at the urinal, and someone is still standing at a urinal, walk behind him, grab his shoulders and give him a good shake, and then run away. He probably won't come after you, because his tally-whacker is hanging out and he just got piss all over his hands and pants.Number 6: When walking into a bathroom and there are other men washing their hands, reach pass them and put a squirt of hand lotion (if available) or soap into your hand and then proceed into the stall. At the very least it'll give them something to talk about for months to come. (Note: Don't actually use the soap as a lubricant - it stings.).Number 5: When sitting in a stall, prop the door open and then greet the other men as they come and go from the bathroom. Here are a few comments to get the conversation rolling: "Hey, whatcha do'n? Peeing?" "Good stance." "You're doing well." "Hmmmm that looks pretty dark, maybe you should go see a doctor." "I bet you can pee around corners with that left hook your sport'n."Number 4: Take a Hershey chocolate bar with almonds into the stall. Wait until someone occupies the stall next to you. Rub the chocolate all over your hand. Feign irritation and say, "Damn it. Hey buddy, can you pass me some toilet paper." Then reach under his stall with your "Poopy" hand. I tell ya, that'll get'em every time.Number 3: If the bathroom has one of those signs on the door when you exit that says "PLEASE WASH YOUR HANDS", with the chocolate still on your hands, spell the word "OK" in "poop" under their sign.Number 2: Throwing a wad of paper towels that you have gotten all wet at the wall or ceiling above someone in the stall is always good for a laugh. First it scares the crap out of them (literally) and then it gets them all wet. Yuck-yuck-yuck.Number 1: Upon exiting the restroom, open the door back up and in your best girly voice with a Hispaniard accent say, "Janitor." Then pretend you don't hear them saying "Just a minute" and say "Janitor" one more time, again ignoring their more insistent replies of "Just a minute". Then prop open the door or both doors if the case may be. It'll get many of them out of the stall prematurely, thus giving them a scent of poop all day long.Just what exactly is wrong with me? Am I the only one that thinks this would be funny to do or see? What would you say if you went to wash your hands and there are almonds in the sink?I'm sure I don't know.Well that's all I have for today.