This past Sunday's Bremen showdown ended just like a Kendall Smith sex tape, prematurely. As you can see in the photos, I was injured. The tragedy occured after my right eye collided with Grant Sharp's left knee. I only dive on the floor a couple of times per year, and I wasted one of those times for 2008 and came up a bloody mess. It was late in the game and with my team up 3 one of my teammates knocked the ball loose. In a scramble to the ball I decided to dive and somehow my dive was interrupted by Grant's knee. He was running, and on my way down I believe I caught his knee on it's way up. I'm really just taking a wild guess as to what happened because I was knocked quite silly from this shot to the face. I came to my knees with my eyes closed in pain and thinking in my head that I was gonna have a black eye when I heard someone say "he's bleeding". At that point I looked down at the gym floor and sure enough I had been "busted wide open" (classic wrestling announcer term) and was standing in a pool of my own blood. I was wearing the "crimson mask"(another wrestling term). The photos above show the cut before the stitches (I got 5) and after. The last photo is proof that my wife still loves me even though that beautiful thing I call my face has been forever damaged. Officials are reviewing the tapes as I write this to ensure that Stretch didn't act maliciously. I hope to return to action next Sunday (at 2pm to all players) to get my revenge. No blood, no foul is what Stretch always says. I guess I got fouled.
