To my Homie, Lover, Friend...Happy Birthday, KHOLI!!!

She walked into the room, following a line-up of young women that I watched from across the room. She, however, with a fire-red mane, super-fab glasses that hid eyes that I would later find to be too honest for their own good, and a grin that caught my eye because I caught hers. What can I say? I’m kind of amazing. (Actually, as I was introducing myself to the room, I opened my mouth and my man-voice was M.I.A. “I fly like paper, get high like planes…”) I apologize for my shameless plug during my attempt to honor my boo. I also apologize for my failed attempt at false modesty. I AM amazing…like Yeezy and Jeezy.

 

So…the grin. That grin told me that she “saw” me and said grin also told me (later) “Nigga, I got plans.” But, that story is for yet another day. Over the course of the summer of 2006 and the years to follow Ms. Kholi has made it evident that friendship, love, respect, passion, and total freshness (not like body deodorant, but like “flyy,” the now defunct “swag,” and “bad” like…[Insert Michael Jackson voice here] “Who’s bad?!”) are important to her expression as a woman and as a human being.

 

I love Kholi because

1.       She enables my random ridiculous dramatics (e.g. the aforementioned shameless plug…still many more to come).

2.       She is THE only person I allow to call me MIKEY (the way she says it is so CUTE…like me *told you*).

3.       She is smart like flash cards and times tables.

4.       She sends the best text kisses. I promise you that when my phone receives a Kholi “muah;)”, I know my unlimited daytime minutes are well spent.

5.       My mom still calls her “my enabler”; which is really the pot calling the kettle black. Trust me.

6.       She wrote in my journal…and I have to admit that I read it from time to time to remember “us and our plans”…cause we got’em, yo.

7.       She has a dangerous obsession with shoes.

8.       When I told her that I wanted to be a stripper when I grew up, she said no. When I begged and used my charm, she still said no. She’s still saying no as I type this.

9.       She inspires me.

10.   She told me this, “Mikey, we’re trophy’s.” …and I believe her.

 

C.Y.T.Kholi, I love you. You’re my girl, sister, lover (of my soul), homie, and friend. I am so proud to label your presence in my life, knowing that none of these words properly express your impact in my world. Thank you and Happy Birthday, ma. You are truly an AUTHENTIC chick.

 

Love,

mikey

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Mic On Monday: Mama, can you hear me?

Yesterday, May 10^th, marked the first Mother’s Day under an African America/Black President of the United States. This new era of change and hope ushers in a host of questions and concern. On my heart yesterday, as I told my mother thank you for supporting me and loving and enabling my manhood and humanity, I meditated on the children that we’ve lost within the past few months whose mothers have to grapple with supporting their child against the wish of greater society or choosing to participate in the conformist thinking of fundamentalist America. It is really important to me that the work that I do and the energy that I place into the universe encourages the humanity in LGBTQ-SGL children in spite of the negativity that rests beyond our doorsteps and even in our homes. My prayer this Mother’s Day was that our mothers, fathers, and children can begin to fight for the sanctuary our humanity deserves so that no matter what, all of our lives will be lived in the most open and positive of lights. I want mother’s of non-heterosexual children to be able to say “I love my child. I am proud of my child. I support my child,” all without the worry of what our world will think or do to spoil such a proclamation.

 

Please add names to this list of children who cannot say “Happy Mother’s Day.” Please add names to this list of children whose mother’s will not hear “Happy Mother’s Day.” Please add names to this list so that we will not forget the work we must do to honor these innocent souls.

 

 

We begin here:

 

Jaheem Herrera

Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover

Lawrence King

 

 

mic

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Sorry seems to be…


“I’m sorry.” It’s amazing how much hurt or pain or frustration or anger is lifted off one’s shoulders when this statement is offered up as a personal sacrifice and a balm used to ease a bruised ego or upset heart. When was the last time you told someone that you were sorry, that you apologize for harming their well-being? I am always surprised at how easy it is for us to say “I’m sorry” in the day-to-day happenings such as when we forget to return a pen or paperclip to a co-worker that we borrowed from their desk. Or when we interrupt someone’s conversation. Or when we take a bit too much time at the McDonald’s drive-thru trying to find the exact change for your Southern Style Chicken Sandwich with extra pickles & and large Triple Thick Vanilla Milk Shake.*
Nevertheless, such trivial episodes in our lives for whatever reason elicit this weighty statement. However, when we hurt someone, whether intentionally or not, we seem to lose the capacity to issue this statement that is otherwise so easy to say. Why is it that the moments in which our whole being should submit an apology, we choke?





“I’m sorry” has saved friendships, relationships, and families. It’s yielded perspective and alternatives during situations where neither party wanted to compromise. It’s enabled our common humanity in times of war and chaos. It’s initiated dialogue between various peoples & nations. It’s ended arguments that may never have suffered resolution. It’s created peace.

“I’m sorry” is so profound a statement that it not only eases our spirits when we hear it from someone who has wronged us; but, it also comforts us when we apologize to ourselves. When was the last time you told yourself that you were sorry? For not acknowledging your abilities and talents? For succumbing to fear, gossip, or negativity? For not enabling your potential? For not listening to your conscience? For not respecting yourself? For not being AUTHENTIC? (ßreal talk.)

Let’s make this interactive. Today check me out on Twitter @ www.twitter.com/envyoftheworld. Within your realm of comfort, tell me some of the people or situations or issues for which you wish to apologize. Start with yourself first. For instance, your message will go as follows:

“I’m sorry: 1. B/C I chose not to prepare for my tests. 2. B/C I underestimated the parentals & their awesomeness. 3. B/C I haven’t accomplished as much recreational reading as I know I have time to accomplish.”

Now, if you don’t Tweet, please feel free to leave a comment in the same format. However you choose to participate or if not at all, please know that we are all entitled to an apology if someone harms us or if we harm ourselves. Take some time to apologize to yourself and to someone. And the next time you say “I’m sorry,” please realize the power you hold. It’s mighty.

Till next time…

Stay up. Stay real. Stay AUTHENTIC.

mic

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